You can't change the past, but can you change the memory?

It is all perspective after all. One man's failure can be the seed that develops into a life changing force. We never truly know how our actions and deeds in life have affected others. Sometimes we are lucky enough to know the influence we have had on people, but more often we move forward in ignorance of the lives we've enriched, touched, and ruined by merely going along in our selfish manner.

How does a man look back upon his life and make those memories fond? A dorkish sort, long in smarts but not so versed in street cool, learning as he's stumbling through. That was me. Befriended by those that had major issues, yet that got me into the fray, playing the game although not with a clean reputation. Guilty by association, although drugs were never the defining factor in my life. Musically gifted, but lacking in the social skills to share my talents with a larger audience. Romantically adventurous but too many bad decisions would harden my heart to the point of not recognizing when a real good thing came along. I wouldn't know it if it bit me in the ass. Hard.

Now I want to make my mark on the world. Raising beautiful children, having a wonderful and lovely wife is not enough to erase the pain of wasted potential. I want to be remembered, not for some drunken noise that may pass for art to some, although my efforts here were among my best memories, but making a meaningful impact on the larger stage. Transcending genre and scope for the wide acceptance and recognition that is reserved for only a very talented and fortunate few.

My bi-polar trains of thought don't allow me enough proficiency to create a truly massive body of work. However I do have my moments of clarity, and I find them circling around more often than in the past. With a small effort I can enter this mode of art, writing, and perspective. My life from this point on is about discovering where my mind can take me, and how to recognize opportunity so as not to waste it. Potential is a terrible thing unless it is acted upon, yet most that reach heights have mostly luck to thank for it. There is an entire world full of talent and potential that will never be realized for whatever selfish, blind reasons. I seek to avoid this.